A TRAGEDY IN SO MANY HEARTS
by SofianBabyDoll
Summary: It is about the time after Marissa dies.It is also about Summer and Seths love and much more...
1. Chapter 1 Tears Do Not Come Easy

**This is a story about how do I see season 3.I do not like how things went on so I did this fanfic.Here are alson a lot of things about each of the characters reactions.The fanfic is mostly about Seth and Summer.Enjoy a whole new story about the time after Marissa dies!And please make some reviews to know if it worths writing next chapters.**

**P.S. - This was a quite short chapter but if you like it I will try to make the next chapters longer.**

**A TRAGEDY IN SO MANY HEARTS**

**CHAPTER 1**

**TEARS DO NOT COME EASY**

1Seth Cohen hung up the phone. He had heard the sad news and he was more than shocked. A few hours ago, he said goodbye to her hoping he would see her again someday. And now, he didn't know what to do. He had never been in situations where he felt he needed to take charge. Seth had always been hiding behind someone stronger.

Before he decided what to do next, he took a moment to sit down on his bed and reflect on what he was really feeling. She had never been very close to him. While they were growing up, she had always been the girl next door and nothing more than that. In fact, she had always kind of ignored him, gone on like he didn't even exist. However, how could he really blame her? It seemed as though that's the way everyone handled him.

He remembered how hard it was to hug her and say goodbye. In the last year, she had become one of his best friends. But still, they were not so very close. In fact, Summer had made them hug. They couldn't do it on their own.

From the first moment he found out she would be leaving, he knew he would miss her. Marissa Cooper was a part of Seth's life. They had been living next door to each other all their lives. Her father had even been his mother's boyfriend once. But that didn't really matter.

Seth thought about something she had said when they had been talking earlier. She said that if Ryan had never come to Orange County, she probably wouldn't have ever spoken to Seth. Ever. And he was pretty damn sure that was true. Without Ryan, that would have been Seth's life.

Seth laid his head in his hands. He felt too weak to do anything, but he knew there was something important he had to do. For a moment, he felt like maybe if he could just sleep for the night, the whole mess would just go away and the weight would fall from his shoulders. But he realized that was impossible.

He felt like he couldn't cry. Maybe only one little tear, but nothing more. It was not the time to cry. He still couldn't really accept what had happened, and he struggled to imagine what life would be like without her. A long time would pass before they would be able to return to normalcy. Tough times were ahead. Marissa was loved by many in Orange County, and many hearts would be broken.

Seth stood up from his bed and went to the kitchen. He heard laughing and thought how unsuitable that was. This was no time for laughing. But then he remembered that the other part of the Cohen family did not yet know anything about what had happened. He was going to have to tell them.

Seth walked into the room and leaned back against a wall, staring at his parents. They noticed the look he had on his face and stopped laughing. They knew something was going on, and Seth could not believe he was the one to have to tell them. His family loved Marissa as one of their own.

As they looked into Seth's eyes, Kirsten and Sandy Cohen knew a tragedy had occurred but they could not really guess what it was.

"What's going on, Seth? You don't look so well," said Kirsten. Her eyes were looking intently into her son's.

"I'm not sure you're prepared for this," said Seth. He remembered how his mother had acted when she found out her father was dead. The case with Marissa was a whole new story.

"Something happen to you?" asked Sandy.

"No. With someone else, Seth?"

"Mom is right." The next words remained long in his throat before they were spoken. "With Marissa."

"Did she make it to the plane?" asked Kirsten.

"No, she didn't, Mom. Marissa and Ryan got into a car accident. Ryan is okay, but Marissa... She's dead." As Seth said this, he felt the same shivers he had felt the first moment Ryan told him the news.

"Oh no," said Kirsten. Her throat was dry and she could hardly speak. Sandy just sat silently in his chair. There didn't seem to be anything suitable for him to say.

"Yeah," said Seth, and he left the room. He stood against the wall outside the kitchen waiting to hear someone say something, but no one did. Words would not come, but rather were replaced with tears. And tears could not be heard.

Kirsten began to cry. Sandy stood up and hugged her, hoping to take away her pain, but it seemed that he could not stop even his.

Seth felt like his mother's crying was tearing apart his own soul. It was making something deep inside of him come out. It was the pain which was trying to get out of him as tears. But he was trying to stop it. Seth had to be strong. He had to go see Summer soon, and when he did, he had to be strong in front of her. He had to try to protect her, just as his father was doing for his mother.

He felt like he couldn't breathe, and then there it was. The first tear from his eyes. It was so warm and he felt it on his cheek. It was salty as it fell to his lips. The same taste he had experienced so many times growing up alone.

He just felt so weak. He wanted to hide somewhere like he used to when he was a child trying to get away from the boys at school who thought so little of him.

He went back into his room. His mother's cries were way too much for him; he couldn't take it. He couldn't take anyone crying. Not that he was much of a tough guy. He was just too weak to stand tears.

The hardest thing was coming up. He had to go and see Summer. If she knew what happened she would need his support.


	2. Chapter 2 Tears In Eyes

**Hey guys.This is the new chapter.I should say thank you to my beta - little-miss-princess-oats.She is really really really great.:) Enjoy the chapter.**

**CHAPTER 2**

**TEARS IN EYES**

Seth knocked on the door of Summer's house. He waited for a few minutes, but no one was coming to open it for him. However, he was not going to give up that easily. He knocked again, and this time it opened. There stood Julie Cooper Nichol. Formally, she was his grandmother, but she was too young and beautiful to be called that. But at that moment, when Seth saw her gazing at him through the doorway, she was not looking so beautiful anymore. She looked desperate.

He supposed it could be expected. She knew her daughter had died. Lately, Marissa and Julie had not been close because of the many strange things Julie did that Marissa did not agree with.

Julie's face was all in tears and her makeup was gone. That was normal; she had cried for her daughter. She was not in a mood for guests.

"What do you want?" asked the woman. She had only really had contact with Seth because of Kirsten, and Julie couldn't really understand the boy, though he seemed to be a nice enough kid.

"I came to see Summer," said Seth.

"Oh, you heard?" asked Julie. Her eyes filled with tears again, but she stopped them with a tissue.

"Yeah. Ryan told me. Can I come in?" asked Seth.

"Yes. All the house is in mourning. I haven't been to Summers room, but I know she feels awful. She'll be needing you. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to get back to my work," said Julie. Seth knew her work was only to keep her from suffering for her lost child.

Seth looked to the stairs. He knew Summer waited at the top, but he didn't quite feel ready to comfort her and see her eyes full of tears. But he had to do it. He was still her boyfriend, just as he was before this.

He climbed the steps, one by one, until he had climbed them all. He was hesitant, and it took him a long time. As he turned down the hallway towards Summer's room, Dr. Roberts stopped in front of him. Seth was not expecting him, and walking with head down looking at the ground, he nearly ran into his girlfriend's father.

"Oh, Dr. Roberts," said Seth as cordially as possible, but he couldn't smile. Luckily for Dr. Roberts, the boy was not in a mood to make jokes. "How are you?"

"Shocked."

"Marissa?"

"Yeah."

"We all are," Seth answered and tried to go into Summer's room. But Dr. Roberts stood in front of him again.

"Are you coming to see my daughter?" asked her father, as if it wasn't obvious. It was so obvious.

"Yeah. If you don't mind?" Seth was beginning to think Dr. Roberts did not like this idea.

"Look, Seth. Because of my daughter, I learned to accept you and even like you, but I don't think this is the right moment to let you see Summer. She is too hurt to see anyone right now."

"I understand, Dr. Roberts. But I'm suffering my own way too and I thought that Summer would need some support. And I think it should come from me."

"Your own way? What is your own way, Seth? No, don't tell me; I don't really want to know. But you know what? Summer is suffering the right way. She is crying her eyes out, and her soul is crushed."

"Dr. Roberts, you know how much I respect you, but I need to be next to the woman I love right now," said Seth. He was not ready to accept no again. Dr. Roberts was surprised.

Actually, Neil was pretty amazed by this guy. At first, he just didn't like him. Then he sort of had to like him for Summer's sake. But times like these, he felt like he liked Seth based on his own merits.

"If that's true, then you can go," he said and stepped aside so Seth could get into the room.

Seth saw Summer on her bed. He looked back to make sure Dr. Roberts had gone and closed the door. He noticed that she didn't look at him as he came in. She didn't seem to be coping as well as Seth was.

Though Seth couldn't see her face through the hair that covered it, he could imagine how she was feeling. She had just lost her best friend. Seth remembered how it felt when Ryan went away, but this wasn't the same. Marissa could never come back.

Seth wondered if he should say something, but words had no place there. Instead, he just sat on the bed next to her and tried to hold her in his arms. She was crying, and her face was full of tears, just as Julie's had been. She seemed unaware of Seth's presence, but she knew he was there. She sat, staring off into some abstract point in the air, feeling like she lacked the strength and motivation to even look over at him. But she knew she had support. She knew she was in his arms, and him being there was the most important thing for her at that moment.

Everyone in the house was trying to find a way of coping; everyone except Summer. She wasn't even talking. The only person in the world who ever understood her had left. It was sad to know that the most important person in your life would never be back. But, whether she realized it or not, she was not alone.

"I'm glad you're here," said Summer as Seth touched her face softly and she could feel again.

"I am too," said Seth.

"She's gone," said Summer. Tears were streaming down her face, but she was not feeling them. She had cried for so long.

"I know," said Seth. It was hard to say it.

"Why? Why did she slip away and leave me here alone?" asked Summer. It was a painful question to ask, but she was asking it. From the first moment she found out that Marissa was dead, Summer had turned to God. That wasn't really something she had done before, but right now she had to understand how her best friend could be taken from her, especially when Marissa had an entire future in front of her.

"Destiny, Sum. People come and go just like that and we can do nothing to stop it. We can't turn back time," said Seth. As he listened to the words he spoke, he was surprised at how grown up he sounded.

"But I want to get her back," said Summer. She tried to stand up but couldn't.

"No, Summer. You can't."

"It is so unfair. She had a future. She was going to go to college. SHE HAD FUTURE!"


	3. Chapter 3 So Much More

**This is the next chapter.I am grateful about your comments guys.Excuse me if I write this story too slow but I just do not have a lot of time for it lately because I am working on my PB fanfic but you show me that you really really want new chapters soon I will try the best I can.Just post a comment but you know it.I am waiting for your good reviews to keep up.Enjoy the new chapter full with feelings again and again it is too short but I wanted to write a few chapter with little more feeling more than the acting.**

**CHAPTER 03**

**SO MUCH MORE**

Seth was still in Summer's room. He had nothing to say. It seemed that words were not allowed in situations like these. Seth had never gotten used to such situations, and he hoped he never would. But this, this was something he could not run from. He needed to always be with her, no matter what. He had to be there to take away her pain.

"Seth," she said finally. The tears hadn't stopped falling, but she was able to talk again, if with a bit of difficulty. "What will happen now?"

"What do you mean?"

"I'm alone now," she said. She removed herself from Seth's arms and sat up on her bed, moving away from him.

"How could you say that? You know I will always be here for you."

"But I lost my best friend. And nothing will ever be the same."

"It will. But you shouldn't think you're alone. You're not, not as long as there are people around you who love you, people like me. And I'm not going anywhere." He leaned next to her and kissed her hair. She leaned her head onto his chest.

"You don't understand."

"Sum, don't think you're the only one suffering through this. Because I am too. Just accept the fact that you are not alone in this world, not the only one who feels pain."

"I'm really not the only one." She took a deep breath and thought about the others in Newport who were feeling the loss. Kaitlin and Marissa weren't really close, but she still must have been feeling pain for the loss of her sister. And Julie... she probably was even worse off. "Who will I talk to when I need to?"

"I'm here," Seth said confidently. She was his girlfriend and he would spend as much time with her as she needed.

"Yeah, right," Summer said with a small laugh. "Only you can make me laugh when I feel so sad. How do you do that?"

"Summer, I mean it." Seth felt a little insulted by what she had said. She was upset, but he would help if ever there was a need for him.

"Seth, I love you, but it's not the same as talking with Marissa. I hope you understand," said Summer. Saying Marissa's name made her remember, and she started crying again.

"I love you too, Summer. But sometimes those words hurt."

"Sorry,"'she said and kissed him softly. He kissed her too, and they laid back down, Summer resting her head on him again.

Kaitlin was in her room. She couldn't even shed a tear because she could not believe what was happening. She also felt like she had no right to cry because of all the things she had done to Marissa. People probably thought that she hated her older sister, but that wasn't true at all.

Everyone had always loved Marissa, but Kaitlin wasn't like her. Marissa had always received more attention, and sometimes Kaitlin hated that. Sometimes she even thought she hated her sister, but it was never true. And Marissa died without knowing this. It hurt in Kaitlin's heart to think about it.

Out of nowhere, a small tear rolled down Kaitlin's cheek.

She could not believe she was crying for Marissa. Even though she didn't hate her, through the years, Kaitlin had learned how to completely ignore her sister. She had learned how to live without Marissa in her life. But here was a moment when Kaitlin would show her emotions, but only by herself. No one else should have known about her feelings. To protect her.

Just then there was a knock on her door. She wasn't expecting anyone. Shouldn't all the people in the house have known that she needed some privacy?

"Who's there?" she asked. She quickly wiped away the tear from her face and did her best to look like nothing had happened.

"It's me, sweetheart." It was her mother's voice. Kaitlin thought she should have warned her about this visit.

"Why are you here, Mom? Leave me alone to do this my way." Yes, Kaitlin was grieving her own way. A very strange way, but at least she was doing it.

"Let's talk, hun. I thing we both should talk."

"No, Mom. There's nothing to talk about!" Kaitlin was shouting. She really needed to get rid of her mother on the other side of the door. As Julie Cooper was grieving, she was becoming more annoying than any other time; it was strange. Maybe she was just afraid to stay alone in her room. Alone with the tears. She couldn't really be blamed for that. She was going through so much.

"Kaitlin, let's do this together," cried Julie. It was such a heartbreaking situation, but perhaps less so for Kaitlin.

"Just leave, Mom. I'll see you later when I'm sure that you are calm and when I am ready for you," said Kaitlin. It seemed that this was the end of the conversation between the two sides of the door.

Julie understood that Kaitlin wanted to be alone, and that was fine for the moment.

As the grieving mother, Julie was supposed to suffer this loss the most, and it was true. Julie felt that her heart was feeling more pain than any other woman had ever felt.

People said she didn't even have a heart, but those people didn't know her. Julie would have cried if her daughter was on the trip with her father too, but the feeling that she had lost her for good was too cruel.

As Julie wandered around the house, all her thoughts remained on her daughter. Julie didn't know where to go or what to do next. There's nothing worse for a parent than losing a child. Marissa was too young and she didn't deserve this.

Neil was looking for Julie everywhere, but she was moving and he hadn't quite caught up. He saw how supportive Seth was, and he was sure that Julie needed the same kind of support from him. Neil tried to imagine how he would be feeling if he had lost his daughter. Just the thought of it left a pain in his chest. God knows how Julie must have been feeling. Her nightmare had come true.

She could remember Marissa's first words and first steps. She remembered how Marissa was finally getting the happiness back in her life. She was trying her best to get away from all her bad habits she used to have. She still had so much life ahead of her, waiting to be lived, and it was sad that such a great life ended.

Yes, Marissa had lots of problems in her life. She had been drinking a lot, and she had even taken drugs. But at the end, she wanted to do the best she could to get away from that part of her life. She would have done it, if not for Volchok. No one deserves to die like that.

Seth and Summer were still lying on her bed and she had fallen asleep. Seth was touching her head softly, trying his best to be gentle.

He didn't want to leave her. Besides, if he got up to leave he would end up waking her.

Just as he was thinking this, she awoke. "Seth," she said.

"What?" he asked quietly.

"It's all too much for me to bear," she said as she began to cry again.

"I know, sweetie. It is for all of us," Seth said, and he kissed her hair again.

"You called me sweetie, Seth," Summer said with a small smile. It didn't come easily, but she needed to feel something other than the tears on her cheeks.

"I know," Seth said, and he smiled too. Then he softly kissed her lips.

"Do you plan on being so sensitive from now on?" she asked, noticing this new act he had.

"If you want me to..."


	4. Chapter 4 Suddenly Empty

**Here are the reactions of Ryan this time and soon the funeral is coming after we see how all of the characters react ceparated. Enjoy this chapter. I hope you like it and I hope to see more reviews.:)**

**CHAPTER 4**

**SUDDENLY EMPTY**

1Ryan was in the hospital. He reached it after all, but at the end it was too late for Marissa. Ryan, of course, was blaming himself. And Volchok. But for him, she would still be alive. Ryan would not be sitting on a sofa in the hospital corridor, swimming in his own misery.

The pain was too much. Ryan had felt a lot of pain during his life. He had pretty much been miserable until he had gone to live with the Cohens. But this pain... it was different than anything he had ever known.

He didn't have the power to cry. Not that he wanted to hold on by all means because he needed to be a tough guy. No, this was the time when no one would blame him if he cried. If he did, the pain would have gone away, or at least just a little of it.

Ryan was feeling empty. Only the pain was filling the hole in his heart. He was feeling empty because after all the problems they have been through, Ryan had some strange feelings for Marissa. She was one of the most important people in Ryan's life though she had cost him a lot of pain. He still loved her, but not only as a lover. Like something much more, but he couldn't explain it.

He remembered the moment when she was lying in his arms on the ground, unable to speak, the car burning and exploding behind them. It was the worst moment in his life.

She had been a step away from death many times before, and he had saved her. But the crash... He couldn't save her from that. He couldn't save the only person he had ever really loved from death.

And since Marissa died, Ryan felt like there was no life left for him in Newport anymore. Though he had become a part of the life there, his only love was gone and life would never be the same. He would never have the strength to move on as much as he would have had when Marissa was by his side.

Moving on was so painful. Ryan thought he would never be able to do it, would never be able to be the same Ryan anymore. His heart was different after that pain that seemed to tear it apart. He would never be able to fall in love the way he had before.

Is a life without life any life at all? So what would Ryan's life be without Marissa? Even if he had all the money in the world and all the hot chicks in Newport, nothing would bring him the same satisfaction as the love he shared with Marissa.

Ryan knew that even though she had chosen to go with her father, she was going to come back eventually for college, and Ryan really believed that there their love would be back, better than before. The thought was going to keep him going.

Their love had ended up hurting both of them many times, and maybe it was strange to continue believing in it. They had broken up and gotten back together so many times, but both of them still believed in their love. This was the best way to live, right?

Ryan started thinking about the people at home, how they would be taking the news. He hadn't told many people because it was so hard for him. There was probably a lot of drama going on at home, and Ryan did not want to go back. The people there were going to feel sorry for him. Everyone would ask him if he was okay all the time, especially Kirsten. And Ryan would not be able to bear their gazes that seemed to be understanding, though no one could know how he was feeling. Maybe not going at home this night was best. Maybe things would be a little calmer in the morning.

Ryan did not expect to be the only one suffering at the funeral. He did think he would be the only man there who did not intend to cry. That wasn't his way, but maybe people would expect that.

Ryan started thinking about the funeral. God, it was going to be the worst day of everyone's lives. Maybe everyone would be suffering. Or maybe it would be quiet and all the tears would stop for a day. Or maybe even the sky would to cry...

A doctor came to him. The same doctor that told him the news he was waiting for and hoped never to hear. His heart was feeling it long before the doctor told him. The doctor wasn't coming to bother Ryan again. There was nothing worse she could say. It had already happened.

"Hello," said the doctor. She said it like nothing had happened that night. Maybe it was usual for her to have to tell people that their relatives had died, but for Ryan, his whole world died with Marissa. Her casual tone insulted him. Everyone that was moving on happily was insulting him.

"Hello," said Ryan; he didn't look her in the eye.

"Is there a place for you to stay, sir?"

"Atwood. My name is Atwood. And yeah, I have a place to stay. What, do you think I'm homeless or something?" Ryan was ready to yell at her because he was so angry and on edge. He couldn't take it, and one insult could prove to be too much.

"No, Mr. Atwood. It's just a standard question."

"Well, I have a place to go. I'm just not ready yet." That was more information than the doctor needed.

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Uh, never mind. It's nothing."

"It's alright, Mr. Atwood. It's normal to get upset and nervous. What happened to you is something... that could tear down a lot of people. If you really cared about the girl."

"Of course I did. What are you thinking about my case, Doctor?" Ryan was sure the doctor had suspicions about how Marissa had died. But if the woman knew him, she would have known better.

"Nothing. It's not my job."

"What's not your job? If you knew how much I love this girl you would not say that." Even still, the doctor didn't seem to believe him fully.

"It's really not my business," said the woman, and she walked away.

"Sure it isn't." He was really insulted. She thought it was his fault. Honestly, he had considered that as well but tried to get it out of his mind. Maybe if he really did kill her... How would he keep on living?...


	5. Chapter 5 Own Way

**Thank you for the amazing reviews and I am praying for them to keep up because this is the thing that the writer needs to keep his/her work - an appreciation.I am enjoying your reviews and I hope you enjoy the nex chapter of my story.:)**

**CHAPTER 5**

**OWN WAY**

1Seth stayed with Summer all night, just lying in bed, speechless, but as the sun was beginning to rise, Seth remembered Ryan and how awful he must be feeling. He must have felt desperate; anyone in his situation would.

Summer had gotten only an hour of sleep. She needed more, but somehow, dreams could not catch her because of all the thoughts in her mind. After all that she had been through, she should have been tired, but she wasn't really.

Summer felt the sun touching her face softly. Or maybe it was Seth?

"Good morning," he said.

"Good morning. Not that it's really very good," said Summer, and she got out of his arms so she could move.

"It's really not," said Seth.

The day was going to be awful. The people they were living with were all crying and broken-hearted. It seemed like the happiness would never return. And they were going to have to start arranging everything for the funeral – the worst event of the year for the people of Newport, who were used to throwing parties every week. They used to be all fun…once.

"What are you going to do now?" Summer asked. She was in her bathroom and needed a shower, but she would do that later. First she just wanted to wash her face, to get rid of the signs of tears. However, she had a feeling new ones would quickly return.

"I don't know. I suppose I'm going to go see Ryan. He must be in pretty tough shape... But I won't go until I know you're fine."

"I will never be fine, Seth, so you can just go now and I will see you later," she said as she leaned forward to kiss her boyfriend.

"Hey, Sum," said Seth, grasping her hand to stop her from walking away, "you sure it's okay? Because I'll stay right here if you need me to."

"And you say Ryan is a big boy and he can handle himself. Go. He's alone now and he's probably feeling worse than I am. At least she didn't die in my arms," said Summer. She tried to put herself in Ryan's place, and she knew he would really like to have his friend around right now.

"So my work here is done?" asked Seth, trying to sound like the funny guy as always.

"No, you 'll come back to see me later, I hope," she said. Still holding his hand, she leaned in to kiss him again, and this time she really walked away. As he left to let himself out, he hoped he wouldn't run into any other members of the family.

Apparently, his hopes were not heard because he met Kaitlin as he was about to leave. She was just standing outside, for God knows what reason.

"Hey," said Seth. He did not meet her gaze, but rather looked down at his feet.

'Hey," she said. And she was actually looking... happy. It wasn't very appropriate in the situation, and Seth felt it was rather strange.

"How are you feeling?"

"Good. I was shopping. Why do you ask?"

"Because of... you know, your sister died."

"I remember... my sister died. I'll see you at the funeral," she said and headed up the stairs.

Seth just stood there, a bit shocked. What was that about? He didn't think Kaitlin will be crying a river over Marissa; they weren't the best of friends. But it seemed that a few tears would be reasonable.

The boy just took one last look at the stairs where Kaitlin had just disappeared. Maybe her real reaction to her sister's death would be seen at the funeral. Until then, Seth had to go see how Ryan was doing.

Seth flipped open his cell phone and called Ryan, but no one was answering, so he decided to go see his parents. Maybe he'd be able to take the car.

When he arrived home, the house was quiet. It was too late for them to still be sleeping. He ended up finding them in the kitchen where they were used to having breakfast at that time of the morning. They didn't look good. It was obvious that Kirsten had been crying.

They looked like they had gotten very little sleep and seemed unresponsive to his entrance. Seth knew that they would usually be yelling at him for staying out all night, but this time was different. He appreciated that.

"Hey," he said, and his mother looked at him.

"Hey, Seth. Do you want breakfast? You must be really hungry," said Kirsten. She stood up so she could get him breakfast.

"No, Mom. I'm going to go see Ryan."

"He's still in the hospital, I suppose."

"Yeah. Have you talked with him?" Seth asked.

"No. Maybe he prefers to be alone," Kirsten replied.

"Maybe. But I think I'll go anyway and see if he needs anything. It can't be very pleasant sleeping in the hospital," said Seth.

"You're right," said Sandy. He wasn't reading his newspaper like usual. He just sat quietly with his breakfast, looking like he didn't want to do anything.

"Bring him home, Seth. I don't want him out there alone any longer. He'll be okay here," said Kirsten.

"I'll do my best," said the boy, and for the first time, he thought about what Ryan's reaction would be to him. Would he be able to get him back home? Or would Ryan run away? Or maybe he had already done this?

Julie needed to go back and see the only daughter she had left. She needed to see how she was doing. Kaitlin had pushed her mother away last night, but maybe it would be different after the sun rose.

Julie knocked on her daughter's door. "Kaitlin, honey, are you okay?" she asked. However, there was no one in the room to answer her.

Just then, Kaitlin appeared at the top of the stairs. She had been down having breakfast. She was about to go into her room without a second glance at her mother, but Julie stopped her.

"Where do you think you are going?" Julie asked in an accusatory tone.

"My room, Mom. I thought this is my room. Or it is still Marissa's?" And indeed, Kaitlin had spent the night in her sister's room. This way she felt closer to her dead sister.

"It can be your room. Kaitlin, do you really feel the loss of Marissa?"

"Sure, Mom. I wasn't so close to her the last few years, but I still care. How could you think I don't?"

"Everyone in the house has been watching your act."

"Mom, I really need to get into my room. Why are you looking for me anyway?"

"I... thought maybe you'd need support. You're the only one in the house that..."

"Yes, I know what you're going to say. Summer has Seth, and you have Dr. Roberts, and I don't have anyone here. And you thought you would come and fill this void in my life. Thanks, but I don't need it."

"No, sweetheart. I was going to say that you're the only one acting like you don't really care that your sister is gone. Think about this, Kaitlin. Marissa is gone. And you will never ever see her, will never ever argue with her again, will never... will never have a Cooper hug again." Julie seemed more affected by her own words than Kaitlin was.

"Mom, know that I am suffering, just like you. I'm just doing this my own way."

"Shopping early in the morning?"

"Sure, why not? Marissa would have liked the dress I bought myself. I'm doing all the things Marissa would do if she was with us. It helps me feel close to her, even though she's far away. You don't have to give me this drama to make me realize she isn't with me anymore. Now can I just get into my room... her room?

These words hit Julie Cooper Nichol very strongly. She leaned forward to hug her daughter. Kaitlin felt what has coming but did not try to escape it.

"Oh, my sweet Kaitlin," cried Julie.

"Okay, Mom. Cry if it works well," said Kaitlin. She knew Julie needed this hug and let her enjoy it. Julie needed to feel Kaitlin close to her. She needed to feel that she was taking care of her. In that moment, the mother swore to herself that she would never let anything bad happen to the only daughter she still had with her, and would always do the best for her. Julie was going to dedicate her life to Kaitlin no matter what it would take.

"I'll go now," Julie said. "I am sure you have something better to do, like looking at your new stuff for example."

Kaitlin watched her mother until she was out of sight, then she went into her room to admire her new dress. Then, something happened. She threw everything down on the floor and screamed. Then she fell to the ground and hid her face in her hands, sobbing. He heart hurt from the words her mother had spoken. There would be no more Cooper hugs, not that Kaitlin ever really liked them. Marissa didn't either, but it was stunning reminder of the things she would miss out on without her sister around. She would never ever be able to tell Marissa how much she loved her. She never had the chance to tell Marissa how happy she was to have her as a sister.

Kaitlin had never admitted it, but she really cared about the family. And since a part of this family was lost, Kaitlin felt like a part of herself was lost too.

Seth went to the hospital that he knew Ryan had been taken to. He looked everywhere, but couldn't find his brother. Had he left? Had Seth's nightmares come true?

"Excuse me," Seth said as he stopped a passing doctor.

"Can I help you?" the doctor asked. She had work to do and was annoyed by the interruption.

"I hope so. There was a young girl here in your hospital who died last night..."

"I don't know. It's a hospital. Lots of patients die here."

"I haven't finished yet. There was a boy with her, blond, about 18. Have you seen him here?"

"Oh. Yeah, I think I saw him. Actually, I definitely saw him. I told him that his friend died."

"Thank God. Where is he now? Is he still here?"

"No, he left a few hours ago."

"What?"

"I told you what I saw. He spent the whole night here, and then he left. I asked him if he had somewhere to go, but he seemed very nervous. I guess no one could blame. He was really upset, and he looked terrible."

'"Where did he go?"

"I have no idea. I didn't ask him. Maybe he went to wherever he's living."

"No, I just came from there."

"Are you a relative?"

"Sort of."

"Excuse me?" she asked, but Seth was really in no mood to explain the relationship between him and Ryan; there was something more important to do.

"It doesn't matter now."

"I'm sorry if I didn't help much, but that's all I know."

"I know, and I am grateful," said Seth. The woman left to get back to work.

Seth wondered about where his friend might be. Had he run away? And if he had, where had he gone?


End file.
